When Life Throws You Winter...

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus

Screw you, Winter!  We refuse to hibernate!

Christmastime brings about a season of parties, presents, over-spending, dreaded family visits, high-calorie debaucherous overeating, and…winter.  When the fairy dust of Christmas magic settles and you’ve toasted to the New Year and your earth-fracturing credit card statements start arriving, another thing becomes evident; many months of dreary, inhospitable weather looms that will leave you and your ski completely high and dry till the daffodils return.  Am I helping your optimism peak today yet?

I am on my annual mecca to visit family for the holidays in NJ.  It is only for a week, but I am almost always taken by how grey and unfriendly it is outdoors.  I do enjoy the snow…it is fun to get in my fix of downhill skiing and do the local fireside taverns and go ice skating.  But I have the luxury of flying back to sunny warm tropical goodness at week’s end. 

Ed is not going to take this Winter crap sitting down!

So what’s a ski junky to do with all of this depressing news?  Some people use the off-season to do all of their wrenching projects…rebuilds, upgrades, repairs.  And others resort to other hobbies more suitable to the season, like snowmobiling and snow sports.  But then there is the crazy posse from the NJ/PA AWA Charter Club.  I met a few of them when they came down to Florida several years ago.  They regularly pack their calendars with fun and exciting rides all over the place, both locally and far away.  They have a bunch of members that are just as obsessed with riding as they are, thus making for guaranteed good times.

Doesn't everyone ride the Schuylkill River in December?

However Alan and Ed (my friends from the club) did not really care about calendar months.  They surely ignored several warnings about coming down with pneumonia, poor visibility, and generalized insanity.  But on December 22^nd, they chose to ignore Old Man Winter and take to the frigid waters of the Delaware (yikes!) and do what they do best…RIDE!  Granted it was an exceptionally mild day…but the water surely was not and the sun was not shining.  But I guarantee you that not only were there no regrets about going…but that they really enjoyed the experience!  Take that, season change!

There are also some fun and crazy people that do Santa runs on their local rivers around the holidays.  You know they do have Polar Bear Clubs all over the place.  So why not start a new tradition and go for a New Year’s Day ride, and then have everyone get together afterwards for a winterization party?  Labor Day weekend does not need to be a riding season death sentence! (see video below, and then get your chainsaws out)

Alright, I digress.  Some of you may live in climates that have resulted in 3 feet of ice coating your riding grounds.  (I am not opposed to some crafty person inventing a Personal Icebreaker Craft, though!)  How can you even give your skis a fleeting thought during this time?  Consider skipping that commercial tourist cruise this winter, and loading up your trailer and heading south for a winter (jet) ski vacation!  No snow required.  Most all of Florida is ideal for riding year round.  How cool would it be to go ride for a week in the middle of February?

Embrace your inner margarita...

In the very least, you could begin an epic ride plan for the earliest days of spring.  Though it may seem like an unreachably long time off, you may be surprised about how much excitement you can garner for something well in advance. Plan a ride in a new place, that requires research and planning and studying navigation charts and ample time spying via Google Earth.   Also, take advantage of all the sale specials that tend to come up in the dead of winter with marine retailers, like West Marine.  It’s a great time to stock up on odds and ends like replacement life jackets, trailer supplies, GPS units, etc.  You lady riders KNOW that leopard print dock line is calling to you!

Though not everyone is as lucky as Alan and Ed, having the opportunity to sneak out in late December,  the moral of the story is: when life throws you winter, make summertime margaritas!  And more importantly, keep making wakes!

Mr. Otter and I have opted to remove winter from our schedule entirely!

Let Justice Prevail

“It just ain’t right.” ~Me

Assholes

The world is not a fair place, I get that.  And the conventional, age old wisdom on the matter is to choose your battles wisely.  Save your energy for the things that matter the most, or that you have some reasonable ability to control.  A quick and frustrating visit to the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuge offices earlier today became one such battle…it is something that both means a lot to me personally, and my efforts stand a reasonable chance of making some type of positive change on what I view to be a grave and unconstitutional injustice:  Prohibition of PWC specifically from federally maintained waterways that any and EVERY other kind of boat can access.

I do feel a little bad about beating them up over something that they surely did not personally sign into law…but if they work for and support the mission of the Refuge, then they also support its policies, and are on the hook to provide me with a rational, sensible explanation as to why there is a picture of a PWC inside a circle with a red line across it adorning the office’s front windows.  Frankly I am surprised there was not also a toxic waste symbol, a box of TNT, and a picture of a thousand wildlife skeletons next to it based on some of the extremely negative and unreasonable encounters I’ve had with various wildlife law enforcement agencies over the years while aboard my ski.

How wildlife officials view your PWC

So where did this all start?  It varies by jurisdiction.  In Biscayne National Park, a 95% aquatic national park, most of which is only accessible by boat and that stretches from just south of Miami to the northern fringes of Key Largo in a swatch about 10 miles wide from the shore out to Elliot Key, PWC were coincidentally banned after a particularly rowdy year at Elliot Key’s annual non-sanctioned 3 day on-water party that happens every year coincident with the Columbus Day Regatta boat races in Biscayne Bay, within the boundaries of the park.  It is a debaucherous accumulation of several hundred boats rafted up on anchor for 3 insane days of adult-style partying.  Need some crack?  It’s out there.  Meth…no problem!  Ecstasy?  Gotcha covered!  And enough alcohol to fill a Total Wine retail store.  So one particular year, some drunk idiot got on a PWC and ran someone over and caused a casualty.  The response?  Ban PWC from these waters FOREVER because lord knows that under those circumstances no one could POSSIBLY be injured by any other kind of boat.

Your outboards aren't damaging the ecosystem?  Huh.

Yet if you speak to park personnel, they will tell you that it is due to “unique environmental impacts” that PWC create that other boats do not.  Really?!  Like what?  Last time I checked, my environmentally-friendly 4-stroke, 3 star California Emissions rated inboard/impeller driven vessel is WAY less impactful than most manatee-mulching 2-stroke outboards.  The days of noisy, dirty exhaust-spewing 2-strokes are mostly behind us.  Then the story turned to the potential of what PWC could do that, apparently, once again, no other boat could.  Because of their shallow draft they can go places and disturb vegetation and wildlife.  Seriously?!  That is like saying that no one should be allowed to drive a car anywhere ever because there is the potential that they could just drive it off the road and plow it into a bus stop full of people or a bunch of baby deer.  So why don’t we just ban all cars while we are at it.  And since we are adopting this brilliant logic, we’d better also ground airplanes, ban electricity, and arrest anyone who scowls menacingly, because there is a potential they might get angry and hurt someone.  Awesome.

Quick...ban ALL motor vehicles, because they could potentially be used as
weapons of mass destruction against cute little deer!!

 The excuse the Refuge people gave me was that “PWC have the ability to get into the extremely shallow waters around mangrove islands where herons are nesting, and getting too close stresses the [endangered] birds and makes them fly off, therefore using energy wastefully”.  How can anyone keep a straight face and tell me this is a reasonable explanation??  The PWC does not have “ability”.  It is a machine.  It does NOTHING unless an operator directs it to.  So let’s not place the blame on the vessel, let’s place it on the operator!!  Now I am not picking on the Refuge people because they believe in protecting wildlife.  I am ALL for being a good environmental steward and I love wildlife and the presence of refuges.  What I am asking is to be fair about how you regulate, and do so equitably.

At the end of the day, this is barely about the environment, and more about banning PWC from places where other types of boaters find them inconvenient or objectionable.  It has been a problem since the birth of PWC in the 80’s.  The reputation of PWC riders is generally bad.  They are the ones screwing up, jumping boat wakes too close, getting too close to swimmers, divers, and fishermen, and just generally disrupting others’ enjoyment of the waterways.  There is also a distinct lack of common courtesy at boat ramps and islands and sandbars or other gathering places.  One of the problems here truly is unfair.  The very same agencies that are banning PWC left and right, complaining about them, and writing ample summons, are doing nothing to support a proactive solution…EDUCATION.

Regulatory review + waterways = bad news
for boaters most of the time

In most places, there is no real education requirement for a brand new PWC operator to lawfully ride in public waters.  Sadly this leaves them prey to a whole pre-established crowd of PWC-haters that will criticize and scrutinize everything they do, even when they are not doing anything wrong.  As a boat genre, we are guilty before proven innocent.  So today, I have decided that I am going to use of my right as a taxpaying member of public and participate in the Refuge’s public input commentary phase of the Management Plan review.  These do not happen very often, and if you do not speak up, you might lose your chance to have any influence on policy changes for a decade or more.  So it is important that you pay attention to public notices about the local, state, and federal waters in your area.  If you don’t, you might one day find the boat ramp pulled right out from under you.  These are YOUR waterways as much as anyone else’s…so do not be a lazy blob!  Fight for what’s rightfully yours!

So for the time being, when I get to the end of my canal, I will continue to turn left.  If I go right, I will be mercilessly chased down by the local fish cops, treated like a second rate citizen, and sent shamefully idling away with an expensive (and unjust) citation.  All because I passed over some imaginary line on a chart that dictates when PWC turn from friendly, environmentally undangerous boats to vicious, satanic fish and bird warlords out to destroy entire ecosystems in one fire-fueled pass through.  Does that sound ridiculous?  Good, because it is!  Discrimination is occurring at all levels…even if your local lake is not in danger, taking 5 minutes to sign an online petition for a National Park policy change can make a difference to hundreds or even thousands of other fellow PWCers.  And the day your local lake DOES come under attack by ski-haters, it would be nice to know others would do the same for you.  Now get online and help your fellow PWC brethren fight the Good Fight.

Awesome mangrove islands in the Refuge, I WILL see you soon!

Out With The Old and In With The New

“Change in all things is sweet.” ~Aristotle

Freshness…it is what we prefer in the food we eat, how we hope to feel when we wake up each new day, and what we need in our daily physical and mental lives.  I just recently came back from a 17 day motorcycle trip, and am feeling quite fresh and energized!  But my freshness is not limited to my mental state…

Nobody likes a disgusting, unfresh sandwich!

Just a week before leaving for my road trip, I was out and about on my ski doing what I do best.  While on the last few miles en route back to the dock, a strange thing happened.  The ski started doing something called “porpoising”.  This is a bizarre behavior in which the nose of the boat starts bouncing off the surface of the water, even though there is no chop present.  It feels like sitting on a high speed merry-go-round.  I had heard of this phenomenon, and as I annoyingly bounced along, tried to remember what causes this.  I assumed it must have something to do with pump loading or an imbalance in the pump area, since that is where the thrust for a PWC comes from.  Either way, it was very annoying, and I was glad I was nearly home.  I figured I would look into it afterward.  But little did I know at that exact moment, there would be no afterward.

Submarine Mode should not be an optional feature...

After a minute or so of cruising at various speeds to try and smooth out the ride as much as I could manage, I felt the engine RPMs suddenly drop, without my reducing throttle.  Uh-oh…this cannot be a good sign!  I instinctively looked aftward and saw the rear platform rapidly disappearing beneath the water’s surface.  That can only mean one thing…we’re taking in water, and FAST.  I blew motor mounts on my old ’04 RXP several years ago, and as a result it began taking in water due to engine misalignment and shaft seal compromise, so I immediately recognized the situation.  If you ever start taking in water while out riding, you have 2 choices, and only seconds to decide on one.  You can either get on the gas immediately and not let off until you get to a ramp when you can drag it up onto the sloped surface and prevent it from sinking (and this is directly dependent on whether or not you can get enough thrust and forward movement for your bailers to suck water out at least as fast as it is coming in) or pull the key and let it sink.  It can be saved if this happens via a dewatering/boil-out procedure and your engine will be fine.  It does take some time, but it does not mean boat ruination.  If you choose to run it until it fills up to your air intake, your engine will ingest water, it will hydrolock, and then sink anyway.  And then you are facing a giant fiberglass paperweight.  A truly hydrolocked engine is not repairable.  It would have to be replaced.  Your ski will not sink to the bottom of the ocean, by the way.  It has enough foam in it to stay buoyant so that at least the handlebars will still be above the surface.  I realize this sounds daunting, but this is why you MUST be prepared before you head out.  Keep your towing company’s phone number in your phone, and have your phone in a waterproof phone bag in case you ever need to make such a call while floating in the water!

PWC or popsicle?

Adrenaline almost guarantees you will be fast-thinking.  Thankfully it was a busy Saturday and I was in the company of numerous weekend warriors out and about that day.  I quickly flagged down a passing boater and asked if there was a boat ramp nearby (I am still getting to know my own neighborhood!).  Magically, there just so happened to be one only 400 yards away.  This can seem like an insurmountable distance when you are taking in water as if your boat had been hit with a cannon ball.  The ski was still running at this point, and the distance was relatively short…so I made that rapid decision to try and run it and get to that ramp.  It is always risky to take this option because you truly do not know if you will be able to bail as fast as you are ingesting, thus risking hydrolock and permanent damage.  But that is the choice I made.  Getting on the gas full throttle, the ski had so much water weight in it that it stood up nearly vertically, resembling a popsicle pushing water in front of it. (BTW, this fully explains the porpoising…it was taking in water, even up on plane, and getting heavier and heavier at the rear, thus creating the weight imbalance and subsequent bouncing across the water)  I slowly started making progress towards the marina channel.  Gunning it seemed to just BARELY be enough to start bailing faster than intake.  By the time I hit the marina entrance, I was actually just about up on plane.  This is the ONE AND ONLY time I will ever endorse someone to go full speed ahead into a marina…because coming off the gas now will ensure inevitable sinking.  And any angry boater will have to suffice with an after-the-fact apology and (legitimate) explanation.  An emergency is an emergency.

It is bad when your engine compartment resembles a salt
water bathtub.

I made it to the ramp.  I hopped off and spun it around and dragged it as far up onto the ramp, rear first, as I could; it was very heavy and I was by myself.  It was still probably taking in some water at this point, but at least it was now out of harm’s way, and sitting on a ramp, so it would not sink.  The rest of the story involved having a neighbor come out with the truck and trailer (remember, this is why you should always file a float plan before you head out), and spending the next several hours draining, washing, and trying to get the water out of the engine.  For a 4-stroke, this involves many oil changes, removing spark plugs and turning the engine over to shoot the water out through the spark plug holes, repeated until no water remains in the crank case.

I was about to leave for 3 weeks, so that left me time to think and make a big decision.  My trusty ski now had 570 hours on it, was out of warranty, and had been starting to show signs of wear and tear.  I was fully confident that the engine would be just fine…I have known Seadoo 4-tec engines go to 1200 hours or more…my concern was with the electrical components that had marinated in salt water for the hour or so that lapsed between the initial ingestion till I got it onto the trailer and opened up the drain plugs and started salt water Niagara Falls.  Experience from the last ski taught me that once electrical components have gotten salt water soaked, they will never be quite right.  Ghost problems tend to start appearing after time.  Crystals of salt will not only screw up electrical contacts on plugs and connectors, but can even get inside wires and travel, and cause problems weeks or months after the event.

I am a PWC adventurer.  I make long journeys far from home and often by myself.  Reliability and trust is a core requirement of my vessel.  It is why I never modify them with high performance parts.  Stock is best for reliability.  Would I ever trust this ski again?  Would I worry about a sensor failure 20 miles from home in a remote mangrove channel?  Probably.  So the decision was made…it was time to replace my ride.

My last adventure aboard my beloved 2008 RXP-X

It’s not like I did not get my money’s worth out of the last one!  And that the same will be true of the replacement.  There just so happened to be a great incentive being offered by Seadoo, that was due to expire the day after my scheduled return from the road.  I negotiated a great price on my replacement, and got an extra 2 years of factory warranty, free of charge.  This is something I normally purchase at great extra cost…so it was a no-brainer.  

So I am happy to announce that I am the proud mama of a brand new Seadoo GTR 215!  This ski has no idea what it is in for.  The inaugural ride has yielded 3 hours on the engine.  Break-in will last through the first 10 hours.  It is a brand new hull design that rides quite differently from my old RXP-X.  I think it is perfect for the ocean and long distances I cover.  Still getting used to the Seadoo iBrake…it is completely different from the old style of reverse via a lever.  

My new baby...I just love the smell of new PWC engine compartment in the morning!

 So October has been a fresh, revitalizing month so far.  I feel mentally refreshed from 3700 miles on a motorcycle and physically refreshed to be riding on a brand new ski.  Out with the old and in with the new is a great metaphor for all things in life; we need change of all kinds.  These are just 2 examples.  If the end of riding season for some of you has you feeling a bit depressed, change it up a little.  Make some new goals and work towards them.  Fresh perspectives change everything!