Can't Start a [Jet Ski] Without a Spark

“You’re only given a little spark of madness.  You mustn’t lose it.” ~Robin Williams

Congratulations Northern Hemisphere…you are rapidly approaching emergence from a long winter hibernation, and the first thing on your mind is, “If I don’t get back on the lake/river/ocean soon, I may do societal harm!”  Good for you for having your spring priorities in line!  Many of you will be embarking on your PWC ‘spring cleaning’…which is really just another way of saying Dewinterization.  If you properly winterized before storing your baby last fall, this should involve little more than a fresh tank of gas, a battery charger, and a good dust rag.  Some like to start the season off with some basic maintenance…changing fluids and spark plugs.  These simple measures can make the difference between an epic first day back on the water, or complete disaster when your trusty vessel coughs to an unglorious halt in the middle of the lake.  While I am fortunate enough to never have to winterize, I am not immune to the same maintenance practices.  Everyone ought to learn how to do the basics…it really is quite easy, and will save you a ton of time and money.  Waits are long at the shop come spring, so becoming self-sufficient will be rewarding both for your knowledge base and your wallet.



Typical garden variety NGK spark plug.

One of the easiest DIY tasks on your ski is changing spark plugs.  They are cheap, readily available at any auto parts store, and the only tool (generally) required is a ratchet and socket.  Depending on your riding style, you may opt for high performance plugs, such as split-fires or iridium plugs.  My Seadoo 4-tec uses regular, everyday NGK spark plugs.  I buy them at Advance Auto Parts for less than $2 apiece. 

Two-stroke skis typically have their plugs protruding from the top of the head, covered by a rubber boot.  Simply pull off the rubber boot, use your ratchet and socket to remove them (they are threaded into the cylinder head), and then do the opposite with the new plug.  That’s it! 



The spark plugs on a Seadoo 4-tec
are under the three ignition coils.

Four-strokes are the same procedure.  Though on my Seadoo they are not sticking up on top of the head…they are recessed down inside, and are covered by a long ignition coil.  In this case, you first carefully unplug the injector wire (be careful, there is a tiny rubber orange spacer in there that can fall out, never to be seen again if it falls in the bilge – ask me how I know) from the coil.  Then grasp the top of the coil and carefully but steadily pull straight up on it until it breaks loose from the spark plug tip inside, and gently remove.  Finally, grab the ratchet and socket, but you will need an extension on your ratchet.  Lower the socket into the opening and feel around until it “grabs” the base of the spark plug, and then just unscrew and remove.  Do the opposite for install, then rinse and repeat for all plugs.

A few pointers…your new plugs come with a standard electrode gap.  It is very important that the gap distance is correct.  Your engine is designed to draw spark with a specific plug that has a specific gap measurement.  And while they “should” be properly gapped when you buy them, it is good practice to check the gap before installing your new plugs.  There is a simple tool for doing this, which can also be found at any auto parts store.  It looks very similar to a silver dollar.  As you look at the edges of it, you will see that the thickness increases as you go around the circumference, and there are corresponding gap values listed on the flat face.  Just slide the tool into your electrode gap and see where it falls.  99% of the time, they come out of the box within tolerance.  But that 1% will getcha, so just check.  It only takes a moment.

I am a fan of painting anti-seize on the threads of the new plugs before putting them in.  Your plugs are always in danger of getting moisture on them.  And on the Seadoo 4-tecs, if water gets down inside the recess where the plug is, it has no way to escape.  Salt water getting in there is even worse!  If you have never had a plug’s threads seize inside the head…lucky you.  I learned the hard way about not putting enough dielectric grease in the ignition coil seals before reinstalling after a spark plug change.  The metal expands and gets stuck.  I ended up snapping off the top of the spark plug, with the seized threads still stuck in the head, after trying to get it out with a breaker bar.  Perry Performance Group came to my rescue and was (thankfully) able to extract it.  But it was NOT a budget-friendly repair, and it was completely avoidable!



What a socket looks like with
a broken off spark plug in it!

Take a few moments to examine your old plugs.  You ideally want all three to look similar in color, indicating that all cylinders are operating the same.  For 2-strokes, you should always have some oil dampness present.  A dry plug could indicate a cylinder that is running too lean, which can certainly lead to piston seizure.  No fun!  Four-strokes do not burn oil, so the plugs should NOT be oily.  I usually just find a bit of amber discoloration on them.  If they are damp for any reason, that is a red flag that you may have a leaky head gasket or some other oil leak that is allowing it into the combustion chamber.

So there you have it.  Spark Plugs 101.  I realize they aren’t the most exciting topic, but they are important!  And since they are so cheap and easy to replace, and tell you a lot about the health of your ski, it should be done often.  I change mine at least every 50 hours.  Those of you that have a short riding season, start off with a fresh set, and at least check them at the end of the season.  Spring is here, hopefully the shorelines near you have thawed.  Besides, you really need to start working off the winter pounds, so get out in the garage and get your ski ready!  Avoid the lines at the shop and make it a point be the first one out this year.  Spark on, my friends, spark on!
 

A Damp Treasure Trove

“A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien

There…on the horizon.  What is that?  Something is floating.  Let me just get a little closer.  Because, hey, you never know, right?  It’s…it’s…(gasp) a Frisbee!  With an angry flame cartoon on it!  Score!  I now have yet another sea treasure to add to my trove.  Yes, it is just a beat-up, pre-loved flying saucer…but it is special, because I found it!

A lost frisbee...or a found frisbee?

The oceans are just chockfull of Stuff; overboard Stuff, Stuff that has blown off people’s docks, Stuff that has been intentionally pitched off the side of a passing boat, Stuff that has traveled great distances from far away destinations in foreign lands, and not-so-glamorous-Stuff that has found its way to watery surroundings after three straight days of strong on shore winds in a large metropolitan area.  But with such a plethora of sources for Stuff…the possibilities for salvaging are endless!

Admittedly, I haven’t hit the mother load yet.  Yet.  There is something undeniably magnetic about an Unidentified Floating Object.  We are just hardwired to go and check it out.  It is the proverbial shiny red button.  We must engage the curiosity.  After more than a decade on the water, and living in or near a large metro area, and specifically one that finds the ocean a suitable receptacle for any unwanted objects, I have found a fantastic array of goodies.  Just his past weekend, I picked up a large rectangular dock bumper in really good condition.  It was washed up on the rocks at the end of a canal, likely carefully deposited by an outgoing tide.  I have almost enough salvaged bumpers now for a (future) boat of my own.

BUY a pool noodle?!  I think not!

Oh the things you will find!  I have several fine beer koozies, dozens of tennis balls (enough to keep my dog and probably 10 others happy), milk crates (endlessly useful), and even lightly damaged plastic patio furniture.  My spare life jacket came from between coral boulders on an island in Biscayne Bay.  I have found unopened bags of chips and sparkly party balloons.  To this day I have never bought a foam pool noodle (I have three at the moment).  I have even found live agriculture afloat…I’ve rescued more than one floating coconut sprout. 

I have known people who have found fishing rods, coolers, hats, boat seat cushions, and even one of Miami’s infamous square groupers!  Given time, one can haul in enough lumber to build a nice dock.  With pressure treated lumber even! 

A ramshackle dock built out of "treasure" wood.

 

 

Coconut palm baby afloat!

While there are many opportunities to “treasure hunt” while out on the water, there are sometimes things afloat that should never be messed with.  The biggest no-no being tampering with or attempting to take commercial crab traps.  They can be easily identified by the white or colored Styrofoam ball bobbing on the surface.  Not only is it illegal to take them, but it is a lousy and unclassy thing to do.  There are people that make a living harvesting from their traps.  Your desire to make a living room end table out of it, or to rob the trap and put it back empty, is very uncool!  So pass up the Styrofoam ball and keep looking for the floating pelican case full of money instead, please!

Being vigilant is always important while on the water. Not only does it minimize your chances of running your ski over something other than water and causing damage, but it gives you an opportunity to become the proud new owner of a partially disintegrated Nerf football!  Who would want to miss out on that?  And if you ever need or want to become Robinson Crusoe, think of how prepared you will be compared to your counterparts!  So go get your treasure hunt on…the next 70% functional floating aluminum chair could have your name on it!  If you have ever found any really cool Stuff on the water, please share, we’d love to hear about it.  And then go raid your treasure-laden domain. 

Happy recipient of a Treasure Ball!

The (No) Wake Zone: Canoeing on Florida's Peace River

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry.  We shall get there some day.” ~Winnie the Pooh

Every once in a while, there needs to be a water day of a different variety…one that involves no wake, no engine, no 70 MPH assault on the big drink.  One that involves trees and nature, birds and freshwater fish and occasional reptiles.  One that involves miles of tranquil low speed voyage through wilderness under the welcoming shade of stately oaks covered in Spanish moss.  A weekend of lazy canoeing, camping, and fossil hunting was in order.



A sea of bright yellow wildflowers welcome you to the

river bank.



I first discovered the magic of paddling the Peace River in central FL about 4 years ago.  The amazing folks over at Canoe Outpost in Arcadia, FL run a first-class operation.  They offer day trips, overnight trips of up to 3 days, and you can rent everything from just the canoe and paddles, to every last piece of camping equipment.  They offer a unique variety of services to accommodate customers that forget supplies/run out of ice/want to have latecomers dropped off at various locations along the route.  You can even have all of your bulky camping gear dropped off at a pre-designated riverside campsite, so you do not have to paddle a gear-laden canoe and it will be waiting for you at your destination after a long afternoon of river travel.  God bless them, they will even do grocery and liquor store runs for canoers that have Beverage Emergencies!  They are also experts in river fossil hunting, and will loan out (for free) shovels and sifters and offer enthusiastic advice to hunters.  I shamelessly plug this outstanding small business, because they have been nothing but exemplary each time I have procured their services.

After a delightfully nostalgic 20 minute ride upriver in a revived 1980s school bus, Canoe Outpost staff deposited us and our canoe and our cooler full of adult beverages right at the water’s edge in the tiny town of Gardner.  Ahead of us lay 12 miles and 2 days of mellow river travel and multiple opportunities to dig the shallow waters for the region’s famed sharks’ teeth fossils.  During the winter time, it is Florida’s dry season, and river water levels are quite low in places…low enough that it is guaranteed that we would be periodically getting out and hauling the canoe over wide, inches-deep sandbars.  Another fantastic reason why having camping gear delivery made our day (and our backs) much happier!



The typical calm waters that give Peace River its namesake.



Setting out, we were greeted to a waterway so calm, it looked more like a narrow summer lake than a river (Florida elevation change is so subtle that rivers do not flow in a fury of rapids as they do in most other places).  Towering oaks and cypress trees draped in Spanish moss line the banks, as do sabal palms and palmetto bushes.  Many places along the shoreline are steep escarpments of sugar white sand, similar to what you would expect to see on a Florida gulf beach, yet 50 miles from the nearest coastline.  The morning sunshine and light breezes made the day nothing short of euphoric.

The graveled portions of river bottom contain known deposits of fossils.  Besides shark’s teeth, there is a plethora of relics from other creatures , both land and water based, to be found such as horse teeth, turtle shell pieces, ancient fish jaw bones, rib bones, even portions of armadillo shell.  But the prize that every fossil hunter on Peace River covets is the elusive Megalodon tooth.  These long-extinct giant sharks used to swim the waters of what is today Peace River millions of years ago.  They were believed to have been 50 – 60’ long.  Their fossilized teeth can be up to 4 or 5 inches long and nearly as wide as your hand! 



Sifting for fossils in the shallow riverbed.  We hauled in
over 200 in 2 days!



There are other joys on the river.  Leaning back and drifting on the lethargic current, we sipped rum as we watched beautiful blue-grey wading birds stroll the shoreline.  There are also turtles and small alligators basking in the sun on rocks and partially submerged logs.  But let us not forget the human component.  Peace River is a popular destination for group outings large and small.  This ideal weather weekend yielded no shortage of herds of canoe groups.  Some were quiet, but others you could hear approaching with the subtlety of a demolition derby.  Numerous bands of happy drunken novice canoeists went by as we dug for fossils, ramming into river debris and crashing into rocks to the harmonic scrape of rented aluminum canoe bottoms hitting abrasive surfaces.  But soon they pass, and only the sounds of nature and our rapidly emptying flasks rolling around in the bottom of the canoe could be heard once again.



A drunken multi-canoe collision at a bottleneck in the river!



Camping along the river about halfway through the run was superb; we had a site reserved in a grove of oaks about 10 feet above the river.  After a tiring day of excavating and paddling under the full sun, unwinding next to a campfire under the stars on a pleasantly cool evening as the marinated churrasco steaks sizzled away on the grill could only be compared to whatever heaven must be.  And despite an air mattress that decided to slowly release air throughout the night, leaving my back supported only by bare ground by morning, I slept better than any night in the city in my own (non-deflated) bed.



Canoes pulled ashore by a riverside camp site.



The second day on the river was every bit as enjoyable as the first.  As we began to approach the dock back in Arcadia, a small twinge of disappointment that the amazing journey was nearing an end crept in.  But it did not spoil a thing.  We felt refreshed and rejuventated by the experience (well except for the searing back pain from 2 days of paddling and digging heavy river sediment into a sifter).  We were met at the dock by the same smiling and professional staff at Canoe Outpost.  After unloading our personal effects from the canoe, a couple of young guys promptly hauled our weekend escape vessel out of the water and up the stairs to be washed and put away until another life-weary adventure seeker calls upon it to take them away. 



River treasures acquired in the aftermath
of the 10 canoe pileup.



Sometimes a place works a certain kind of magic that indescribably improves your life.  Peace River is one of those places.  I am a salt water dogette at heart, but there is something about the change in scenery and pace that this river brings that has become critical to my well-being.  I make a point to get on the river at least once a year.  This trip was no exception.  Though we did not hit the mother load and find any Megalodon teeth (this time!), we did haul in 140 sharks’ teeth and dozens of other fossil treasures!  There are times when no wake is best.  A lifestyle about the water does not discriminate between salt water and fresh, or fast versus slow.  There is room for everything, and I believe you need a little of all of it. 



Shark tooth fossil from Peace River.



The Enemy Lies Beneath

“Tis best to weigh the enemy more mighty than he seems.” ~William Shakespeare

It’s a lovely day…the sun is shining, the air is mild, the water is smooth as glass.  What could be wrong in the world today?  Gah-whooomp!  Just as you were getting into that euphoric zone of how perfect the world is at that moment, your ski’s RPMs suddenly redline, and you slow down to an unthrilling 4 MPH despite a lack of releasing your tension on the throttle.  WTF just happened?!  Chances are better than outstanding that you have just become the latest recipient of an obstructed intake!  Let the fun begin!



An evil mat of floating seaweed.  Beware!



Now here’s the good news…more often than not, it is totally not a big deal, and can be completely remedied at the mere cost of having to get a little wet.  So what happened exactly?  The way jet skis work is by drawing water in at high suction from the bottom of the craft, via the intake.  Then it is spit back out the rear of the boat through a precision-milled jet pump that supplies the power to your internal propeller, inside a housing called a wear ring, that does not allow the thrust water to escape around the edges of the prop blades, but rather is pushed through them.  That is what gives a jet ski such a massive amount of thrust compared to a boat with an exposed prop on an outboard or any other outdrive.  In other words, it is what makes skis awesome and thrilling to ride.



Enemies, enemies everywhere!



Now let’s discuss the pitfalls of the jet-drive technology.  Your ski sucks up water with a frightening amount of force…but guess what?  It will also suck up anything else lurking in the water around you!  One of the biggest rules of thumb when riding is simply watch where you are going, and look at what’s in the water in front of you.  That simple rule will help you avoid 90% of all the possible obstructions.  I always wear polarized sunglasses when I ride, to give me an edge on being able to see through the glare to what enemies might be hovering just below the surface, like plastic shopping bags and other debris that might not float at the water’s surface. 

Common enemies include: mats of seaweed, plastic bags, crab trap ropes, branches and plant litter, sticks, rocks, to name a few.  Anything floating on or beneath the surface can be quietly hovering, just waiting to ruin your ride.  Between my riding friends and I, we have sucked up an intriguing array of objects over the years…huge lawn & leaf plastic trash bags, nylon coated ski ropes, palm fronds, logic-defying chunks of wood (that are mysteriously wider than the gaps in the intake grate), a sea cucumber (eww), a t-shirt, hunks of coral rock, one’s own dockline.  Any object other than water is fair game!



Attached to tree = Good; floating in the water = BAD!



What is a fellow to do if the speed dives and you have a sandbar party to get to?  Fear not!  If the water is really cold and you were hoping not to get soaked, you could first try to pull the key, stand up, and shake your ski aggressively back and forth.  Some obstructions that haven’t wrapped around the driveshaft may just come loose and float out.  I can oftentimes get away with this when I hit a mat of seaweed.  The next step involves taking a swim.  Hop in the water, and reach under the rear-center part of the ski.  This is where your intake grate is.  The grate is there to try and prevent foreign objects from getting pulled into the intake/driveshaft area, but obviously, it doesn’t catch everything.  If your obstruction is something big, you may even feel it sticking out.  Grab a hold and pull!  If it comes out, great, get back on and ride away.  If not, you are probably dealing with something that is wound around the drive shaft.  I ALWAYS keep a stainless steel fillet knife in my ski.  Not for filleting fish though!  It will be your best friend today, and what good warrior would head into enemy territory without a pointy weapon!  Use the knife to poke up inside the intake grate and try and work loose whatever is in there.  If it is a plastic bag, you may be able to use the knife to gradually saw through it at the shaft.  Same thing with a rope.  The thing to remember is patience.  And if at all possible, try and at least get your ski out of a busy traffic area before attempting this.  Keeping goggles or a dive mask in your ski will enable you to get underneath and see what is going on.



Sea cucumber (eww)



If all else fails, and you cannot shake it out, cut it out, and work it free, you can either slowly ride it back to the ramp, have a buddy tow you, have Boat US tow you, or if you are with a group try riding to a shoreline or island where you may be able to beach it and have friends help you roll in onto its side to assess the problem/work on it out of the water.  Certain objects, once ingested can be sent to your prop.  It is not uncommon to suck up rocks, and then find that your ski now cavitates and loses some top end speed.  A wear ring replacement might be required if it got gouged during the ordeal.

So!  Now that we have established that the waters are teeming with Unfriendly Objects That Want To Eat You, it goes without saying that the best medicine is prevention.  WATCH where you are going…learn to be alert.  If you see something sticking up out of the water in the distance, just avoid it.  It could be a small part of something bigger.  When approaching shallower water, get off the throttle; your ski, when on full throttle, can pick up things as much as 5 feet below the surface!  Sometimes a field of debris cannot be avoided.  In this case, slow down, shut off the engine and float over things when possible, and be prepared with your fillet knife if/when you ingest something. 

Now get back out there and have some fun!  You are empowered with the knowledge of how to safely clear your intake, so you won’t have to miss the sandbar party for fear of sucking up Loch Ness.  Enjoy, and don’t forget to sunblock!



Sandbar party!