“It always rains on
tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for
the opportunity to rain on a tent.” ~Dave Barry
Scamping \skam’-ping\
noun:
a method of roughing it that involves a jet ski, a big ass float, a
tent, some typical camping implements, and at least 2 flasks.
Camping is a treasured pastime. Almost everyone has a camping story: “I ate
hot dogs and smores and slept outside!” “We downed a 12-pack, took off all our
clothes after dark, and ran through the forest like avatars!” “It was a
metaphysical experience” “I got chased by a bear” “It was dirty, damp,
mosquito-ridden hell” "Sasquatch!". Ah the
memories! Who doesn’t love a good
camping trip?
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| Camping...sort of |
There are many kinds of camping. Traditional tent camping at the local state forest
or campground, wilderness camping for those who prefer to do it Bear
Grylls-style…and then there is glamping.
I learned of this strange phenomenon recently when a friend posted some
photos from a glamping trip in the NC mountains. It translates to Glamour Camping, or yuppy
camping for those that like the Idea of Camping but do not want to deal with
the insects, rain storms, wildlife, and spinal misalignment that results from
sleeping outside on the ground. It
involves planting a box on wheels full of creature comforts (some nicer than
what I have in my regular house) in the middle of a forest-y or mountain-y
location, setting up some reclining designer chairs inside the screened in
patio, and sipping on a steaming hot Keurig café latte.
A few years back, I was searching for something. I had been camping, and I had been camping
with my ski via packing camping supplies on board and riding out to an island
and setting up there. But it still felt
like there was a camping void to fill, one that could only be satisfied by
something completely new and untested.
The wheels cranked, and for the next few weeks I began working on a
crazy plan. Crazy, in part, because it
was to be completely untested upon Go Time.
How could I combine my love of the water and riding with
living outdoors for an extended period of time that did not involve existing
methods? Two words: Floating
Camping! That was it. I envisioned it, I had joked about it with
riding buddies before. But why not bring
it to life? There was no reason that I
could see that it would not be a reasonable thing to try. And it could be done with minimal investment
and no specialized equipment. The
hair-brained scheme had merit, and momentum.
I made a list and got to work.
(Note: This is not a tutorial about camping. If you need to learn about how to go camping,
I suggest you read the Jungle Book or Lord of the Flies. I am going to focus on the absurdity of
making ordinary camping extraordinary! And floating!)
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| Late night sinking = Bad! |
The only thing that actually needed to be purchased was my
floating base. I thought about trying to
get one of those gigantic towables that hold 5 people. It would certainly have enough real estate to
support a tent and then some. But my oh
my, they aren’t cheap! Suitable
candidates were going for $300+ on Overton’s.
Too much. So I went where all
cheapskates of the universe go when they want something they cannot afford
otherwise: Walmart. While it may be my
least favorite store anywhere ever, it admittedly does have a plethora of cheap
Chinese-made goods that make sense for light/one time use. Plus I was craving Great Value Animal
Krackers…so off I went. What I returned
with was a round 6’ diameter pool raft with 4 air chambers and grab handles
around the outer perimeter. I paid maybe
$20 - $30 for it. I did not require
something as durable and reinforced as a towable – this merely had to hold air
and float, and I liked that it had multiple air chambers, so if one started
leaking, I would not go down like the Titanic in the middle of the night.
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| Showering and toothbrushing were observed! |
I also refreshed the batteries in my portable bow and stern
lights. The single biggest safety
measure a boater needs to take when overnighting on the water is ensuring that
they are lit and visible to other boaters.
Other than that, the remainder of my supplies were the usual basics of
camping: tent, pillow, musical implement, a cooler with some vittles and rum, and
a change of clothes. Whenever I ski camp,
I always pack my 5-gallon collapsible water jug…it is made of a soft moldable
plastic so when not in use it can be flattened and I store it under the storage
bucket in the ski. Filling it up is a
matter of pulling up to a fuel dock and asking to borrow the hose. I did this on my way out to my planned site
and carried it in the footwell once full.
This would be my shower and toothbrushing water. No scuzz camping!
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| Staging on the soon-to-be biting insect-infested island. |
So on departure morning, I packed my steed and hit the water
bright and early. I was living in Miami at the time and decided
to go to Islamorada to try out the craziness.
The further from home you are, the less chance you have to wanker out
and go home in defeat. I was committed;
it HAD to work! I made the 70 or so mile
ride. It was a picture perfect summer
day. There was not a cloud around and
the winds were light. Other than getting
harassed by the National Park Service while (illegally) crossing Biscayne
National Park en route, the trip was stellar.
Islamorada is home to a very popular party sandbar that can easily
attract a couple hundred boats on a weekend such as this. I spent my day socializing with boaters, who
all held a respectful inquisitiveness about all the stuff I was toting on my Seadoo. When I explained my intentions, I was met
with astonishment/intrigue/disbelief/appreciation for creativity. I told them I would check back in the next
day and report on the experience. So
after filling up on Barnacle Burgers and beer from the floating snack bar that
is a regular fixture at the sandbar on weekends, I set out to get the scamp
site set up. I stopped and filled the
water jug at a hotel’s dock (shhhhhhh) and then trekked to the previously
scouted site. I chose an area on the
Gulf side of the island chain that had very light/no boat traffic, an
uninhabited island nearby, was at least 3 feet deep even at low tide, and was
on the leeward side (out of prevailing winds).
I pulled up to the shoreline of the island and unfolded the pool raft,
and used a powered inflator which I alligator-clipped onto the Seadoo’s
battery. Afterwards I idled around for a
few minutes to recharge the ski battery, as a precaution.
Next , I set my tent up in the usual fashion. But instead of staking the corners into the
ground, I used some dock line to secure them onto the handles on the raft’s
edges, to make sure they did not droop over into the water. Finally, I secured a line from the ski to the
raft and slow-towed my buoyant Shangri La a couple hundred yards from the
rapidly encroaching sandflies and noseums popular to mangrove islands at
sunset. After dropping anchor and
setting up the anchor light, it was finally time to relax and watch the sun go
down in style, from my very own secluded floating porch. The night ended up being a magical blend of
ideal weather, a nearly full moon, and water chockfull of tiny bioluminescent ocean creatures.
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| By golly, it worked! |
The next morning I was greeted by a boatful of people that
had anchored nearby for the night, who also happened to be nudists! I kindly declined their offer to come aboard
for breakfast. After breaking down
scamp, I meandered back to the sandbar, and spent the next while sharing my
adventure with the friends I had met the day before in exchange for grilled
steak and Heineken (somehow a more tempting option than breakfast with the
nudists). The experiment was a huge
success!!
So there you have it.
I invented something cool because I had a wild idea and put it to the
test and brought it to life. Innovation
is refreshing and rewarding. It could
have been a complete disaster and it still would have been fun, albeit more
expensive because I would have ended up staying at a hotel last minute. But I have found that if you really want to
make something work, you will find a way.
Keep the creativity flowing, and be sure to add Scamping to your summer
plans this year!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
