When you live in
Mexico, your houses all have names.” ~Jesse Ventura
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| Fred |
As humans, we seem to have an intrinsic need to name
things. Many things. Sometimes too many things. Guilty as charged. I not only named my pets, but also my
vehicles and motorcycle, various pieces of furniture, all of my potted
plants. And yes, of course, my
Seadoo. His name is Mr. Otter. I get many sidelong glances when I refer to
the many treasured non-animate objects in my life by name. But why do we do it? To me, once you have named something, it has
a soul, and you will connect to it in ways you might not have thought possible. I think you value your [plant, jeep, bike]
more when it has a name. You feel…more
responsible for it. “Oh my god, I forgot
to water Fred!” I said in frantic tones as I rushed to fill a pitcher with
life-saving water for my little metallic palm on the back deck. Fred was very grateful, by the way.
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| The christening of Mr. Otter, sans bottle smashies. |
But in the magical world of boating, naming vessels is
practically required. One of the things
I love about boating is the rich history of maritime culture we are derived
from and much of the lore, legend, and superstition that surrounds it. It is tradition that prior to a vessel’s
maiden voyage, it be properly christened.
On larger vessels an unopened bottle of champagne is often broken across
the bow, as a sort of offering to the gods of the sea. I really liked the idea of a boat
christening, though I was not too keen on the idea of smashing a glass bottle
of anything across poor Mr. Otter’s shiny new black gel coat. So we settled for sprinkling some quality rum
over his gunnels from a favorite stock.
So where did the tradition of boat naming begin? Thousands of years ago, boats were named by
their owners based on the belief that if they chose to name it after an
important god, it would bring them protection from harm while on voyages. It was a sort of honorary offering to the
gods in exchange for safe passage on water.
As time evolved, boat naming went through a golden era of feminine
nomenclature. Boats in general took on a
feminine gender role, and even in naval applications, ships were referred to as
“she” and “her”. We’ve all seen the Sue Ellen and Barbara Marie-type names on boats, especially fishing boats.
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| My crazy retired hippie neighbor's boat - the Psychedelic Lollipop. Yes, you read that right! |
Today’s boat naming has taken things to a whole new
level. We’ve all spent afternoons
cruising about chuckling at boat names we see.
Some find ways to creatively use nautical terms in their names, while
others allude to the owner’s line of work, weekend warrior motto, fishing
obsession, or some personal life reference.
It is really a floating billboard extension of its owner’s
personality. It is all in good fun, and
I think naming a boat makes it come ALIVE somehow!
I have noticed that in general, the smaller the boat, the
less likely it is to have a name. I do
see some 20+ center consoles that often sport more than just the manufacturer’s
name…but disappointingly owners of small vessels do not seem to participate in
this wonderful tradition. I think we
ought to change that!
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| Make sure you get your daily recommended allowance... |
So this winter,
while you whittle away the icy months of gloomy non-boatiness, you ought to pop
into the garage and visit your floating friend(s) and have a heart to
heart. C’mon…some of you already do that
anyway! So why not give it a name? You do not even have to tell anyone if you
don’t want to…it will be our little secret.
But this spring, on your first launch of the season, do not forget the
christening libation. Make it official,
then take [your ski’s name here] for a ride!
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| Oh, naughty! |
