Let Justice Prevail

“It just ain’t right.” ~Me

Assholes

The world is not a fair place, I get that.  And the conventional, age old wisdom on the matter is to choose your battles wisely.  Save your energy for the things that matter the most, or that you have some reasonable ability to control.  A quick and frustrating visit to the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuge offices earlier today became one such battle…it is something that both means a lot to me personally, and my efforts stand a reasonable chance of making some type of positive change on what I view to be a grave and unconstitutional injustice:  Prohibition of PWC specifically from federally maintained waterways that any and EVERY other kind of boat can access.

I do feel a little bad about beating them up over something that they surely did not personally sign into law…but if they work for and support the mission of the Refuge, then they also support its policies, and are on the hook to provide me with a rational, sensible explanation as to why there is a picture of a PWC inside a circle with a red line across it adorning the office’s front windows.  Frankly I am surprised there was not also a toxic waste symbol, a box of TNT, and a picture of a thousand wildlife skeletons next to it based on some of the extremely negative and unreasonable encounters I’ve had with various wildlife law enforcement agencies over the years while aboard my ski.

How wildlife officials view your PWC

So where did this all start?  It varies by jurisdiction.  In Biscayne National Park, a 95% aquatic national park, most of which is only accessible by boat and that stretches from just south of Miami to the northern fringes of Key Largo in a swatch about 10 miles wide from the shore out to Elliot Key, PWC were coincidentally banned after a particularly rowdy year at Elliot Key’s annual non-sanctioned 3 day on-water party that happens every year coincident with the Columbus Day Regatta boat races in Biscayne Bay, within the boundaries of the park.  It is a debaucherous accumulation of several hundred boats rafted up on anchor for 3 insane days of adult-style partying.  Need some crack?  It’s out there.  Meth…no problem!  Ecstasy?  Gotcha covered!  And enough alcohol to fill a Total Wine retail store.  So one particular year, some drunk idiot got on a PWC and ran someone over and caused a casualty.  The response?  Ban PWC from these waters FOREVER because lord knows that under those circumstances no one could POSSIBLY be injured by any other kind of boat.

Your outboards aren't damaging the ecosystem?  Huh.

Yet if you speak to park personnel, they will tell you that it is due to “unique environmental impacts” that PWC create that other boats do not.  Really?!  Like what?  Last time I checked, my environmentally-friendly 4-stroke, 3 star California Emissions rated inboard/impeller driven vessel is WAY less impactful than most manatee-mulching 2-stroke outboards.  The days of noisy, dirty exhaust-spewing 2-strokes are mostly behind us.  Then the story turned to the potential of what PWC could do that, apparently, once again, no other boat could.  Because of their shallow draft they can go places and disturb vegetation and wildlife.  Seriously?!  That is like saying that no one should be allowed to drive a car anywhere ever because there is the potential that they could just drive it off the road and plow it into a bus stop full of people or a bunch of baby deer.  So why don’t we just ban all cars while we are at it.  And since we are adopting this brilliant logic, we’d better also ground airplanes, ban electricity, and arrest anyone who scowls menacingly, because there is a potential they might get angry and hurt someone.  Awesome.

Quick...ban ALL motor vehicles, because they could potentially be used as
weapons of mass destruction against cute little deer!!

 The excuse the Refuge people gave me was that “PWC have the ability to get into the extremely shallow waters around mangrove islands where herons are nesting, and getting too close stresses the [endangered] birds and makes them fly off, therefore using energy wastefully”.  How can anyone keep a straight face and tell me this is a reasonable explanation??  The PWC does not have “ability”.  It is a machine.  It does NOTHING unless an operator directs it to.  So let’s not place the blame on the vessel, let’s place it on the operator!!  Now I am not picking on the Refuge people because they believe in protecting wildlife.  I am ALL for being a good environmental steward and I love wildlife and the presence of refuges.  What I am asking is to be fair about how you regulate, and do so equitably.

At the end of the day, this is barely about the environment, and more about banning PWC from places where other types of boaters find them inconvenient or objectionable.  It has been a problem since the birth of PWC in the 80’s.  The reputation of PWC riders is generally bad.  They are the ones screwing up, jumping boat wakes too close, getting too close to swimmers, divers, and fishermen, and just generally disrupting others’ enjoyment of the waterways.  There is also a distinct lack of common courtesy at boat ramps and islands and sandbars or other gathering places.  One of the problems here truly is unfair.  The very same agencies that are banning PWC left and right, complaining about them, and writing ample summons, are doing nothing to support a proactive solution…EDUCATION.

Regulatory review + waterways = bad news
for boaters most of the time

In most places, there is no real education requirement for a brand new PWC operator to lawfully ride in public waters.  Sadly this leaves them prey to a whole pre-established crowd of PWC-haters that will criticize and scrutinize everything they do, even when they are not doing anything wrong.  As a boat genre, we are guilty before proven innocent.  So today, I have decided that I am going to use of my right as a taxpaying member of public and participate in the Refuge’s public input commentary phase of the Management Plan review.  These do not happen very often, and if you do not speak up, you might lose your chance to have any influence on policy changes for a decade or more.  So it is important that you pay attention to public notices about the local, state, and federal waters in your area.  If you don’t, you might one day find the boat ramp pulled right out from under you.  These are YOUR waterways as much as anyone else’s…so do not be a lazy blob!  Fight for what’s rightfully yours!

So for the time being, when I get to the end of my canal, I will continue to turn left.  If I go right, I will be mercilessly chased down by the local fish cops, treated like a second rate citizen, and sent shamefully idling away with an expensive (and unjust) citation.  All because I passed over some imaginary line on a chart that dictates when PWC turn from friendly, environmentally undangerous boats to vicious, satanic fish and bird warlords out to destroy entire ecosystems in one fire-fueled pass through.  Does that sound ridiculous?  Good, because it is!  Discrimination is occurring at all levels…even if your local lake is not in danger, taking 5 minutes to sign an online petition for a National Park policy change can make a difference to hundreds or even thousands of other fellow PWCers.  And the day your local lake DOES come under attack by ski-haters, it would be nice to know others would do the same for you.  Now get online and help your fellow PWC brethren fight the Good Fight.

Awesome mangrove islands in the Refuge, I WILL see you soon!