Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Those @#$% Trailer Lights!

“Electricity is really just organized lightning.” ~George Carlin

The Elusive Fully Working Trailer Lights…it seems so simple.  A coated set of wires that run from an insulated plug at the rear of the tow vehicle, to a few light assemblies.  And yet I cannot recall the last time ALL of my trailer lights were illuminated simultaneously.  As in not flickering, partially mysteriously dimmed on one side, stuck in brake light mode, or just out all together.  We’ve all been there…you haul out at the end of a long day, and have an hour of driving to do in the dark to get home.  You’ve done everything right, including remembering to unplug the lights before backing the trailer into the water.  And when you plug them back in…[crickets].
I often wonder how it is that we can splice atomic particles, build lightning fast processor chips the size of a breadcrumb that could run the power grid for an entire city, and successfully land an exploratory rover on a distant planet, and yet CANNOT seem to develop a set of trailer lights that work beyond the day you buy the trailer and bring it home for the first time!
I get it…we are submerging electrical components in water…some of us saltwater…and we all know that water and electricity do not mix.  But alas, there are amazing products out there that can (or should) effectively seal out water.  As the (un)proud owner of a second set of “sealed” LED trailer lights in the last 6 months, I can tell you I am quite disappointed in the poor build quality of these units.  My original trailer lights were the style referred to as ‘dry launch’, meaning that they purposely have an opening on the bottom, so that when the assembly gets submerged in water, an air pocket forms that is large enough to keep the connection point at the bulb dry (derisive snort).  Sort of like if you were to take an empty upside down drinking glass and put it into a bucket of water.  Provided that you do not turn the glass sideways, the air pocket stays in the glass, no matter how far down you push the glass.  Yeah…they don’t work real well.
But there was a lot of clamor about these great new LED trailer lights.  The light assemblies are (advertised to be) sealed, thus removing the corrosion at the bulb connection problem from the equation.  Of course there are other places that shorts can happen (at the plug from the tow vehicle, a damaged ground wire, damaged or severed wire somewhere along the trailer frame), but in my experience, most blown trailer lights were the result of the connections getting wet at the rear light assembly.  So I was thinking, “Great!  I am so getting sealed lights, even if they are ridiculously expensive!” 
I happily dismantled the stock dry launch tail lights on my Continental trailer.  The new lights came with a new wire harness, so I went ahead and used it, even though I technically could have reused the old one.  Why not start with everything fresh, right?  The new lights were amazing…bright enough to make my garage look like a Red Light District.  I carefully heatshrank any wire connections that I made with marine waterproof heatshrink.  I tested the brakes and turn signals…good to go.
This is where the story happiness ends.  After just one dunk in the water (with the lights unplugged even), the driver’s side light stopped working.  How could this be?  I took the time to be thorough about installing them and waterproofing any external connections.  A few quick tests with a multimeter revealed that there was power coming from the truck at the plug, and ground wire was intact.  I took apart the light assembly itself.  There is a gasket between the lens and the circuit board.  To my dismay, there was moisture on the circuit board.  Fried.  I appeared to be the victim of a bad gasket.
I was willing to give the manufacturer the benefit of the doubt that maybe this gasket was off a little bit, and I just got a bad one.  I went back to West Marine and bought a replacement driver’s side light.  I went through the same installation process as before.  And for a while all was luminous in the world again!  Then, one evening on my way back from the Keys, I hopped out briefly at a gas station to stretch, wandered around to the back of the ski and…WTF??  One light was glowing like the fires of hell, and the other one was lit…but so dimly that it looked more like mood lighting.  Sigh.  The culprit this time turned out to be the ground wire coming disconnected.
Overall, I have a gloomy outlook on the future of lit, visible trailers.  Having a trailer with lights out can also make you a prime candidate for a roadside chat with Mr. Officer, who isn’t going to want to hear all about how “They worked this morning!”.  A few suggestions to those of you that spend a lot of time trailering…if you have dry launch, non-sealed lights, keep spare bulbs and bulb grease in your tow vehicle.  Check you lights every time you are about to pull out of your driveway or the boat ramp parking lot, including brakes and turn signals.  Remember to unplug the lights from the vehicle before launching.  If water gets inside that connection while plugged in, it can short out the whole wire harness.  But then remember to plug them back in before you drive off!  Hopefully one day, some brilliant Nobel Prize winner will invent lights that actually last longer than a dozen launches.  But in the meantime, be diligent, be patient, and try not to ride off into the sunset without at least one light working!!!

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